I Hate Prop 8

So it was approved.


Propositon 8 received a 52.1% 'yes' vote. Rejoice and mourn, whichever side you are. Me? I resign to the fact that "CHANGE!" has not arrived yet.

I was on a forum when I stumbled upon this. It's a satirical piece by Tyler Oakley on why some straight people insist that marriage be a privilege exclusive only to heterosexual couples.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms, just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I find the dark humour here to be bitter. I love its sarcasm, its way of scoffing at the idea that marriage should only be entitled to straight people.

I don't get it. WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT GETTING MARRIED? There's not gonna be fireworks exploding from the roof of your house every night after tying the knot. Nobody's gonna treat you with revered admiration at the sight of your wedding ring. And weddings? They're such a bore to attend. What do you get from a marriage? Apart from the stability and rowdy kids, marriage makes you mellower and fatter.


But I have an idea.

We should ban criminals from marrying criminals. Applying the general misconception that gay people are gonna produce gay children to this scenario, these criminals are just gonna produce juvenile delinquents after all. More rapists, robbers and killers.

And we don't need another Osama bin Laden on the loose, people. We need peace.