Fanta-zzzz

ABC walks into Aussino, a shop specialising in home textile products and sets about finding the ideal pillowcase for his new home. A salesgirl (SG) approaches him with a hi-how-can-I-help-you air.

SG: Hi, how can I help you?
ABC: I'm finding for pillowcases.
SG: Oh sir, you have come to the right place then. At Aussino, we have pillowcases of supreme quality imported from all over the world and are available in a myriad of colours and patterns...

ABC presses the 'forward' button and SG babbles on incoherently due to the hastened pace of speech.

SG: ... blablabla... the pillowcases are located there, sir.
ABC: Thank you.

ABC sidles over to a corner where a rack of mammoth proportions displays all types of pillowcases. His eyes strain to pick out the best from among the motherload. Red, green, white, floral-patterned, polka dots, curls and swirls, Ben Ten, Marilyn Monroe and... is that The Joker?

Then he sees it. The perfect pillowcase. Embellished with fanciful illustrations amidst a white backdrop. This is it. This is the ONE pillowcase he has waited for so long. SG comes back to ABC's side. Upon looking at the chosen pillowcase, she nods her head in approval. She proceeds to assure ABC that he has splendid taste.

SG: This is a very nice pillowcase, sir.


ABC: Yes, it is indeed.
SG: Very lovely design. As imaginative as you are, sir. Look at this one, very cute.


ABC: That's me and my wife.
SG: You must be very fond of her. (Beams brightly) Aren't these just adorable?


ABC: I love flowers!
SG: How wonderful! And these horses look so real.


ABC: Ah, that would be my teenage son and the 3-year old kid my wife adopted from Laos. Love the young man, regret flying the kiddo home with us though.
SG: You two must be terrific parents! Do you love music, sir? Because these music notes can help you sleep.


ABC: Splendid! I don't really get those funny characters with jelly hats though.
SG: Haven't you heard? Mushrooms are good for health!
ABC: Mushrooms? Ain't like nothing but retards to me.
SG: Oh sir, you're so funny! Here, even Mr. Broomstick Slave from Disney Fantasia makes a cameo appearance too!


ABC: No wonder he looks familiar. God bless Disney.
SG: And Mickey Mouse too. Such a dear...
ABC: I say, this young stud here looks dashing! Won't want my wife dearie to get all high on it.


SG: Need not worry, sir. She'll get high on you....
ABC: I'll get high on it!
SG: AHAHAHAHA!! Well sir, this IS what wet dreams are made of!!!
ABC: Hahahaha... I'll take it, miss! I swear if I don't take this I'll have a heart attack.

End of story.

Actually, the silly pillowcase belongs to my mum. Like it?