1. It causes dryness to the lips, eyes, face, skin, hair and nose. (Nose?)
2. It is goddamn expensive - RM10 per pill. And I pop one per day. And it has been 7 weeks.
3. It is very harmful to the unborn baby should you get pregnant while on medication. (Not my business to get preggers anyway)
4. It is forbidden to breastfeed or donate blood while on medication.
Look, I didn't really mind all those side-effects above. I'm not paying the bill, I don't donate blood, I am in the wrong age group to start shooting babies off my ...... and all I need is lipbalm, lotion and moisturiser to handle the dryness. God know what I'll put to combat nose dryness, but never mind.
This is what it's supposed to do.
Then came that scare from Fareen, all worked up on the phone warning me about the possibility of the drug rendering me infertile. Something about cysts, fibroids, hallucinations, severe abdominal pains, can't get out of bed, psycho periods, profuse warnings by relatives and dermatologists and family gynae...
I was practically scared shitless with her voice in my ear.
Went on a googling spree, this time with the keywords "Accutane infertility" and as usual, loads of bullshit showed up. Some consoled readers with the "it's all safe" talk while some blatantly accused the drug for their infertility/impotence/erectile dysfunction/loss of libido.
Gee...why do they all have to do with sex?
Besides that, there were alleged reports on patients getting anaemia, leukaemia, muscle and joint aches, hearing impairment, blurred vision, night blindness, and tonnes of other medical conditions with bombastic medical jargon that left me blank.
But the most glaring element was that Roaccutane, or Accutane as it is widely known in the US, is most highly linked to depression and suicide. So this drug is practically depressing. Which I can really understand. The flare-ups brought about by the drug are really horrible, pushing my mild/moderate acne up to 2 notches to the severe zone.
Wow, thanks Roaccutane.
This is how it works. An initial flare-up will occur during the first 4 to 6 months, resulting in a dramatic breakout. That was what happened to me. From a cluster of pimples on my chin, it suddenly ballooned out of proportion to become PIZZA FACE.
Then from the 7th week onwards, the clearing-up process takes place. Now see that's where my problem kicked in. I'm well into my 7th week, on to completing my 2 months on Roaccutane. I haven't seen any improvements yet apart from the magical disappearance of my blackheads.
Fareen called.
"ACHTUNG!" she said.
And that's it. STOP. HALT. No more Roaccutane for me.
Instead, it's back to the old-fashioned Tetracycline. Which takes another 6 to 8 months. Goddamn it, do you know how pissed I am?!!!!
I waited patiently as pimples popped out of my face like volcanoes on the Ring of Fire for SEVEN BLOODY WEEKS and now I have to wait ANOTHER GODDAMN SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS???!!!!!!
No wonder people commit suicide.
Sitting in the dermatologist's room, hearing her go on and on about "slow and steady" almost made me want to punch her. Serious SHIT. Ever since I started on Roaccutane my mood swings have been frighteningly unpredictable. I feel happy, then sad, then optimistic, then depressed, then self-loathing, then bubbly, then flustered, then silent, then neutral, then (fill in the blank).
Now that my acne is a lot lot lot worse thanks to Roaccutane, it's gonna take an excruciatingly LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time to heal. So thinking back, maybe I should have not taken Roaccutane in the first place. Would have saved my face the pain of all those flare-ups, ridiculous amount of money (almost RM 1K there) and spared those painful 7 weeks for some other safer, steadier but slooooooooower treatment. Like Tetracycline.
Life. This is LIFE. Sigh....
My 7-year history with acne continues....
It's a serious bane to my self-esteem. Dahlah banyak body image issues, nak lagi jerawat batu. Sial betul.
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